You’ve most probably tried to tackle your husband texting another woman but nothing has really changed.
In my experience of thirty years helping couples as a marital therapist, you’ve fallen into one or more of the following traps.
He is either in denial about the proper nature of this relationship or he believes that cheating involves having sex (or has persuaded himself their intimate contact was ‘just a kiss’ – so doesn’t count).
If he is having an affair (emotional, physical or both), it is better to bring things to a head rather than hoping things will get better when he’s changed jobs, the kids go back to school or Chelsea win the cup.
You will also avoid the trap – which many women fall into after an affair is discovered – of blaming yourself for not acting sooner.
We separated for one week and after discussions and an agreement that he would not contact this woman we decided to get back together.
One month later, I checked his phone and found he had saved the woman’s number under another name and had been phoning her constantly, and texting her at 2am when I went to bed and also throughout the day – even when he went to the shops to get nappies.
Perhaps you’d like to make the bedroom a smartphone/tablet-free area, so you can concentrate on each other – chatting over the day or having sex together.